Katie Strumpf
"Helping kids with cancer.......a cancer survivor's story"  

Full Circle

They say good things come to those who wait, and as all of you know, I am not good at waiting.

Yet, wait I have, for a job, (well, applied to jobs nonstop) and for the sense of security that only a steady career brings.

I am someone who loves stability, structure, organization, and consistency. I thrive on routines. This is not to say I am not fun, but I just like consistency.

I felt out of control of my life for a long time, with the chaos, sadness, and unpredictability of the past few years. Everything that I knew and depended on was gone, and I was left shell-shocked and bewildered.

So I moved here in hopes that I would recapture myself, and carve out a new life.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Then bam, it all came together at once.

I found a fantastic, rewarding, fun job.

I found a cute apartment.

Everything I waited for and wanted is here, and then some.

I am thrilled, and know I deserve it.

To quote someone dear to me, "You are blessed."

I have wanted them for so long, and worked hard to get them. I have never been someone who scares easily, but when everything has been taken away from you, it is hard not to get scared.

And I am a bit scared.

I am scared that it will be taken away, like I lost all before.

Yet, if Adam wasn't afraid of dying, how can I be afraid of living?

I know that it is important to cherish life, and cherish and celebrate it I do, to the fullest. So I know I can't stop now, when the new chapter of my life is unfolding.

As I drove to work today through picturesque Charleston, singing along to the radio with the windows down, I remembered the woman who drove here in January; cold, anxious, sad, and unsure of the road ahead. Yet still hopeful. I realized how far I have come.

I realized the me that moved here to start over would be exasperated with the me who is a bit scared. The me from January would tell me to live and love it.

So I will.

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Posted by Katie Strumpf at 8:54 AM on May 27, 2011 | Comments (0)



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