10th anniversary
I worried for at least a few days (Ok, weeks) about the kind of coat I would wear on March 12th.
March 12th was the 10th anniversary of 21st birthday, as my friend Bonnie likes to say.
Before you think I am merely fashion-obsessed (which I am), the coat is not about fashion.
The coat represents my grief.
I recently explained to my mom that my grief feels like a coat that I never take off, sometimes it is light like my Burberry spring quilted coat, other times it is heavy like my long winter coat. Regardless of its varying weight, I never take it off. I wear it all the time, regardless of the weather.
The night before my birthday, the coat I wore was dark, heavy, and out of season in the warm beach air of Sullivan's Island. I longed to take it off, but on it stayed.
Adam was exactly 4 months to the day older than me, and I liked that. 12 was both of our favorite numbers, and I liked that we were both born on the 12th of the month. It felt neat and tidy.
Now nothing feels neat and tidy, and I am obsessive compulsive about being neat.
I spent the 9th anniversary of my 21st riding the bus up to NY to spend the weekend in the hospital. I will admit, I felt sorry for myself, and even worse for Adam, of course. We didn't belong there. But there we were.
I spent yesterday at yoga, treated myself to a complicated coffee drink (decaf cappuccino with skim milk and sugar-free vanilla syrup, I know I am a wild one) splurged on a girly, overpriced headband that makes me feel like a mermaid from the Holy City Flea Market, laying out at the pool, and a late lunch at Poe's. It was a perfect day, and I was glad that the coat of grief I wore that day was light.
My friends here brought cupcakes over, and my friend Holly had Georgetown Cupcakes delivered to my doorstep. I literally started screaming and jumping up and down when I saw the familiar pink box and black swirly logo, a piece of home in the form of a dozen delectable delights.
I refuse to comment on the amount of cupcakes I have consumed in the past day, but knowing that I rationalized that a carrot cake cupcake for breakfast was still a vegetable should provide some insight.
Oh, and I bought myself a cute coral fitted jacket (don't worry, I got a great deal), because I figured if I have to wear the grief jacket, I might as well wear a coat I actually like as well.
Makes sense to me, and the color is good with my skin tone.
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Posted by Katie Strumpf at 5:17 PM on March 13, 2011 | Comments (0)
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